Allow me to introduce myself and this column.
I am Jennifer Dooper, columnist and two-time public sex witness.
And this is my column, Bumper to Bumper, inspired by said witness experiences.
See where I’m going?
For the kind souls who have kept up with my public musings since these first lines a year ago, you may remember what sparked [...]

Wednesday I received a good Catholic beating.
No, my teacher didn’t rap my hands with a ruler nor did my fellow students throw stones at me in the street after class. I didn’t get martyred — I didn’t get hurt at all, really, except for the part where a tradition in my faith was laughed at. [...]

It’s that time of year again. I can feel it in the air. Time for hot chocolate, lit fireplaces, sleigh rides, Santa wish lists, wreaths on windows, tacky sweater parties, Nativity scenes, stockings, gift searching, Christmas lights, eggnog and caroling.
Except— wait a second— it’s not even Thanksgiving.
I thought that we had some hope here in [...]

I have only one important memory from preschool: I’m sitting on the toilet in the bathroom that’s in the back of the classroom, and the door swings open. I probably didn’t close it all the way because it took me a long time to figure that out. I’m not finished yet and thus cannot get [...]