ommitment is a cringe-worthy issue for some young adults.
But some people don’t worry about marriage because the person they are to spend a lifetime with will be chosen for them.
Graduate student Anil Puvvada, 22, of Andhrapradesh, India, does not stress about who he is going to marry. In fact, he does not think about it often.
Puvvada said his parents have started looking at pictures of prospective wives for him, using his ideas of the perfect spouse.
Puvvada said he wants his wife to be beautiful, well-educated and be able to raise children.
The marriage process generally begins soon after graduation around the ages of 21 or 22.
Puvvada said his parents did ask him to choose from two women, but he did not like the choices.
He said his parents were a little upset, but they knew he had his reasons for not choosing one of the women: they were childhood friends who were too competitive for him.
“They try to beat me at every game,” he said with a smile.
Puvvada said he knows his parents will find him the right person.
“My parents know what I need,” he said.
Puvvada said he will get more say in the issue than other people in his country because his parents are more liberal.
It was also Puvvada’s decision about whether or not to have an arranged marriage.
Still, marriage is at the back of Puvvada’s head right now.
“I think about school, my career and I want to have fun,” he said.
Dating is also something he isn’t interested in while in America, mainly because it would complicate things.
Puvvada admits that he prefers the way things are done in India.
“In India, there are two ways of doing it: the parents choose or they don’t,” he said. “In America, there is only one way.”
Graduate student Reshma Medikonda, 23, also of Andhrapradesh, India, does not worry about marriage either.
“We are mentally prepared for it,” she said.
Although the peak age for Indian women to get married is 22, Reshma said she thinks more about her education.
She said she feels stable and does not have to date anyone because her husband will be chosen.
“I am plenty cool,” she said, laughing.
She said her parents have put a lot of time into finding her a husband because her father wants what is best for her.
Reshma said she will also be involved in the decision, and she knows what type of husband she wants.
Reshma said she thinks about her wedding and about how she will feel on that day.
“I know myself, and I know what will be good for me,” she said. “The most important thing for getting married is compatibility.”
Bikramjeet Assal, database specialist for student technology, said he had an arranged marriage in October.
Assal, of Bombay, said he got to know his wife before they got married.
He said he does not look down on the idea of arranged marriage.
“Our parents have seen more than we have,” Assal said. “They know and love us and know what is best for us.”
He said that when he was younger, he did not want to have an arranged marriage.
Now older, Assal said he knows that there is someone who knows more about the situation than he did and that parents think about everything, not just love.
Reach Leah Caudle at features@wkuherald.com.
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